mecca has a five guys @Dayglochainsaw@skull.website

going back in time to kick the ass of the guy who invented Great Man Theory, only to discover once i get there that Great Man Theory is more of a loose conglomeration of ideas shared by several dozen prominent thinkers at the time instead of the sole intellectual creation of just one guy. I fall to my knees and howl in rage and defeat.

Me: i am going to kill senator tom cotton
CIA Agent: ohhohohoho. we got him this time.
Me: in minecraft
CIA Agent: GOD DAMMIT. SHIT. FUCK. *punches a hole in the drywall* FUUUCK

I spilled baked beans all over myself watching shadows on the walls of a cave and an enlightened man shouted 'this prisoner thinks hes eatin beans' and everyone laughed

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the radical right-wing art movement Italian Futurism. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

every straight couple's joint tinder account looks like this

man all the parts with the texan are unintentionally hilarious because it's a british guy's idea of what an american is like, and this audiobook is also being read by a british guy who does a bad southern accent for those parts, and its just. chefs kiss.

also whats up with the three proposals thing

man i know this is like a 19th century thing but damn these women have a poor opinion of women

?????? what in the hell constitutes a "good forehead"

Harker: oh cool some dust
Harker:
Harker: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Harker: the count seems to lock himself inside his room each night, i wonder what hes doing in there.
Harker: jerkin' it probably

remember everyone: No Snitchin'

hate it when i have to awkwardly fake being asleep while the polycule fights

haha what if i fell asleep outside of the safe rooms and three vampire babes tried to suck my blood... haha jk... Unless...?

AROUSAL 👏 JUST 👏 DOMESTICATED 👏 FEAR

oh no! sexy vampire babes!

so today i am working on making this wooden kit thing and i am having a Lovely Time