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And now my son's become a man,
I'm riding with the marching band,
The broken beaten and the damned,
Stars beginning to fade,
And I lead the black parade

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going back in time to kick the ass of the guy who invented Great Man Theory, only to discover once i get there that Great Man Theory is more of a loose conglomeration of ideas shared by several dozen prominent thinkers at the time instead of the sole intellectual creation of just one guy. I fall to my knees and howl in rage and defeat.

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I spilled baked beans all over myself watching shadows on the walls of a cave and an enlightened man shouted 'this prisoner thinks hes eatin beans' and everyone laughed

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issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the radical right-wing art movement Italian Futurism. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

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i am very rarely a bitch but by god i will be a bitch about the weather

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i dont know why but whenever anyone mentions that a temperature is too hot/too cold i am compelled to be a bitch about it

:bing: chaste asmr
:bing: asmr for christians
:bing: asmr which does not tempt me to sin

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the smithers strippers meme but its me just trying to find a youtube video to put on in the background so i dont have to listen to perfect silence

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the fact that videos where someone quietly folds clean towels while it rains outside and videos where an egirl sticks her tongue in your ear while jamming the lens halfway down her cleavage are treated as still being the same basic type of thing seems absurd to me

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today i am learning about the waterphone, an instrument which as far as i can tell, the only conceivable function of which is to make horror movie soundtracks youtube.com/watch?v=foSJstDFDf

"and nowww, introducing for the first time ever, mr. and ms. smith!"

*mournful droning* 𝖜𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖊 𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖊
𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍

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thinking about how funny it would be to play Dead Flag Blues at a wedding

bad 

so much of my time and mental energy is spent considering new and comical ways that a dick could be all fucked up looking

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bad 

genuinely cackling right now. im the dumbest creature on gods earth

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you either have a burnt little spent .22 casing or a huge fuckin horrible sea cucumber just flopping around like a long wet balloon

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i dont know why but the idea of a dick that starts small and hard and then gets big and soft is something thats existed in my mind for years at this point and i will NEVER stop finding it hysterically funny

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bad 

i got one of those little dinosuar sponge dicks where it starts off little and dry and hard, and then it gets big and soft and SOPPING wet

damn, just found out they're making a sequel to There Will Be Blood and theyre calling it "There Was Blood"

genuinely have to remind myself that turns out some people do not want to hear about the specifics of the byford dolphin disaster while eating a meal

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