fortunate sun/bad moon rising @Dayglochainsaw@skull.website

going back in time to kick the ass of the guy who invented Great Man Theory, only to discover once i get there that Great Man Theory is more of a loose conglomeration of ideas shared by several dozen prominent thinkers at the time instead of the sole intellectual creation of just one guy. I fall to my knees and howl in rage and defeat.

Me: i am going to kill senator tom cotton
CIA Agent: ohhohohoho. we got him this time.
Me: in minecraft
CIA Agent: GOD DAMMIT. SHIT. FUCK. *punches a hole in the drywall* FUUUCK

I spilled baked beans all over myself watching shadows on the walls of a cave and an enlightened man shouted 'this prisoner thinks hes eatin beans' and everyone laughed

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the radical right-wing art movement Italian Futurism. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

every straight couple's joint tinder account looks like this

my name is chris hansen, and you're on jackass

i love greyhounds but they sure do look like someone went "what if that dog was a horse"

calling in sick with havana syndrome