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going back in time to kick the ass of the guy who invented Great Man Theory, only to discover once i get there that Great Man Theory is more of a loose conglomeration of ideas shared by several dozen prominent thinkers at the time instead of the sole intellectual creation of just one guy. I fall to my knees and howl in rage and defeat.

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Me: i am going to kill senator tom cotton
CIA Agent: ohhohohoho. we got him this time.
Me: in minecraft
CIA Agent: GOD DAMMIT. SHIT. FUCK. *punches a hole in the drywall* FUUUCK

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I spilled baked beans all over myself watching shadows on the walls of a cave and an enlightened man shouted 'this prisoner thinks hes eatin beans' and everyone laughed

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issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the radical right-wing art movement Italian Futurism. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

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If anyone here uses vcv rack have u used the orange line mods and if so freakin how do they work

Thinking about how Stalin's granddaughter is an apolitical witchy programmer in the PNW

running for 30 seconds at a time: fine. good. able to do this with relative ease.
running for 60 seconds at a time: horrible. awful. all the water that was inside my body is now on the outside of my body. i look wet and compressed and i feel like im dying

"political power grows out of the barrel of a gun" factoid actually a statistical error. Average armed insurrectionist movement actually achieves 0 long-term reforms. Mao Zedong, who lives in a cave and executes over 10,000 landlords per month was a statistical outlier and should not have been counted

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i was gonna say that online maoists are weird but honestly i've never met a non-online maoist so. maoists are weird.

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some people think they are actually doing this and boy howdy it sure is something

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like in terms of expressing emotions that I actually have on a daily basis

like I experience :floshd: way more often than 😄

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I do feel that "cursed" emojis are more emotional and real than the standard emojis

Saw a bin lorry called Bin Diesel, i am freaking out my nut right now

Look at everything you can do in Scotland and England and still have nearly 30 minutes left to sleep

i doubt that bob moog expected a clone of a portable version of the synth he invented to be used 51 years later by some ukrainian trans girl to make hardbass as a shitpost for mastodon

"Rewatching The X-Files? Hate fun? Try a mytharc-only rewatch, so you come to absolutely despise this show you thought you loved!"

So yeah, phoebe bridgers kinda sold out and I lost interest when she changed her insta @ from _fake_nudes_ to her name

I Contracted Peripheral Neuropathy From Eating The Mold Growing Underneath My Windowsill And All I Got Was This $45,000 Hospital Bill

heh. You think you got a weird dick, friend? Watch this (I drop trou with such force it kicks up a massive cloud of dust and dirt around me. When it disperses I am laying completely dead on the ground)

John Halo: i was a child soldier and the US government did countless unspeakable things to me to turn me into an instrument of death, wholly incapable of living a life outside of war

gamers: cool

John: what the fuck. no. are you even listening to me

what if all the Taken movies were called Tooked instead. what if that.

theres men on this site who still have a madonna-whore complex

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