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If you know me, you might be surprised that I brought up the prospect of a secret second family on the new without bringing up Bartolo Colón, and the reason for that is that this is not a podcast about Bartolo Colón and I wouldn't have shut up about him for forty-five minutes

anchor.fm/wtto/episodes/Episod

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New pinned post for new newsletter home, subscribe at dtmwagl.substack.com and tell your friends, fuckos

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It is legal and free to not give a shit about anything I say

I need to be supervised while I eat dinner, otherwise anything could happen :shankly:

Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted
Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

Sorry not sorry if you can't handle these flowers, fuck no I didn't read the signs that told me what they are

Went for a nice walk, rattlesnake master and sumac looking real good

I am equally proud of myself for: a) leaving the family reunion early, and telling my dad why I was leaving early, without shutting down or melting down, and b) unpacking my travel bag before I went to bed last night; these are basically the same level of accomplishment for me

Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

And I said "what about M. Night Shyamalan"
She said "I think I remember the film
And as I recall I think we both kind of liked it"
And I said "well that's the beach where we're old" 🎶

Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

Leaving the family reunion early because it is Simply Too Chaotic and I can't deal with it and I don't have to

My uncle went to a conference that wanted you to pick out a green, yellow, or red wristband for the amount of social distancing you ask people for, and he brought me a red band, six feet away from me forever please

I forgot to pack my scorebook but it's fine, Kyle and I are skipping the Sox game we were supposed to go to because it Does Not Sound Fun

Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

Crying in between putting on eye cream and mascara so I'm only wasting half my cosmetics

Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

pics of me, moving selfies (EC, Boosts++++) 

nat forgot to pack this hat so i put it on and like. am i That Dyke??? Should i start wearing hats??? what's happening?!?

Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted
Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted
Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

Sitting in the passenger seat of the car quietly chanting "baseball baseball baseball" to myself

Hyping myself up for the family reunion by singing along to "A Better Son/Daughter", I'm pretty sure I'm doing this right

Help I have found a website called "little black tux dot com", can one of my friends get married or have a gala or something

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Amelia :skull_hearteyes: boosted

always a good day to see ol’ dickey spencer punched in the fuckin face

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