I wrote a new about an absolutely bewildering film called HE'S OUT TO GET YOU and if you love dead cops, this is the MOVIE for YOU

I like when people boost my post about my newsletter at the same time they tell me they enjoyed this one, thus assuring me they read it before recommending it to others

@Pixley who hasn't wound up with a corpse in their bathroom hahaha

@Pixley there are any number of reasons it could have gotten there and that is why my client should be found not guilty, thank you

@Pixley Duke wants his batters to be more aggressive at the plate because walks clog the bases

@baturkey Duke never makes it as far in the postseason as he should, but we're gonna keep giving him more chances

@Pixley that Beethoven mannequin is absolutely something else

@checkervest it's so weird, Alex! Why does it exist! Why did someone put it in their movie! It feels like someone lost a bet or something!

@Pixley why isn't it wearing pants!! those knobby white fabric knees are so upsetting!

@Pixley I tried to see if maybe it was from something, like a stage prop maybe, and while I couldn't find anything, I did find this writeup of what sounds like an Absolute Theater Experience, full of quotes like "It is the London International Mime Festival, after all, and if there is one thing a mime loves, it's a folding chair."

@checkervest I can't believe this is only a three-star review, with lines like "When the mask is dropped, we see that this figure is a chimpanzee and are forced to re-evaluate each action up to this point."

@Blakely thank you!! This very strange movie was an absolute joy for me

@Pixley Amelia I would never lie to you about reading your newsletter

@Pixley promote during the day, actually read snuggled under the covers at bedtime, that's my game plan

@Pixley I 100% scrolled all the way to this post, people expect a certain standard from me I would never boost something I haven't read!!! Unless there's a cat

@Pixley I mean this is a little reductionist, but sure

@Pixley I got to the chimpanzee mannequin wearing a powdered wig before I had to return to work. I will come back to this to see if it shows up later in the film.

@Tel gosh I sure hope the chimp in a powdered wig comes back around, otherwise it's just really weird!

@Pixley that statue...

I guess this is what you get when you don't keep your movie super bland, like "ah my poor dead wife. We both loved this park," or whatever. It's realistic that she'd be pining over something wildly specific and weird like a life-size Chimptoven

@InternetEh you know, if my mom died tomorrow, I'd go to her house and get emotional over her extensive collection of salt and pepper shakers, so I get it

@Pixley a violent argument over which sibling gets to keep dear old dad's weird statue of a dog who is also a butler

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