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I hope y'all are ready for a thousand puppy pics, my wife is bringing him home tomorrow


i'm home,,,, i can take a shower,,,,, i have a bag full of gelatin-free gummies. no one's life is better than mine...

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
As she's having a kiss
While he's having a kiss
And she's taking a kiss

posting your own posts back at ya 

@dirt deep cuts

maybe instead of being a landlord you should try landing some bitches

oh boy we're only like 5 years away from linklater’s tender, coming of age, ode to the 1990s...

Mastodon is Crumbling, and Many Blame You, Specifically

Mastodon is crumbling and many blame developing real and earnest connections to the friends they've made irl, which likely blossomed in no small part due to the social confidence developed interacting with people online, and may even include fedi connections who happened to also live locally

me, externally: *explaining dumb shit that i literally included in the email they are calling me to ask about*

me, internally: i've been invited to orgies. i don't need this shit

too many thoughts in my head not enough thots in my bed

can we get a "i don't want to be here" going in the chat

i'm a rotten little stinker and the people can't get enough

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