i'm always one getting iver an ex away from self-actualization.


death shitpost 

me, on my deathbed: so that's pretty much it, all my affairs are in order. just one more thing

lawyer: go ahead

me: can u add my ex to the will

lawyer: absolutely. what are you leaving to them?

me: oh, nothing. i just want you to say "what's up" for me

lawyer: when you die, you want,,, you want me to say "what's up" to your ex?

me: ya

lawyer: i'm... not doing that

me: why?

lawyer: it's weird

me: fine. good. whatever.

lawyer: is that all then?

me: can u hand me my phone?

@dirt im going to be laboring over a granite death bench and running all over tarnation planting blueberry bushes and adding your posts to desktop library computers and you fully wont have left me anything in your will except instructions on chaste memes to send your other exes.

@dirt no but i hope i still get to live in your house

@dirt ill need to have somewhere to be holed up sending all these posthumous texts

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