one thing i can't get enough of is betraying friends who considered me a brother, and getting them indicted on multiple RICO predicates

i way undercooked my omelette but i ate it anyway because you know, whatever. starting to wonder if that was the right call

*texting my ex* hey what's up send me pictures of your boyfriend's dick

@lennie l’esprit de upvote, when you can’t even think of a comeback too late, you have to get one from Reddit a week later

laughing at the idea of this guy texting his ex back with a crowdsourced reddit reply that has 'methinks' in it and going nice, that showed her

i'm leveraging computer vision and machine learning in a way that will have a dramatic impact on our industry. i am scaling to meet the global demand for frictionless, unattended retail

my hobbies and interests are a closely guarded secret

met a friend i haven't seen in ages and was like so what's new etc, and she said well i'm a really big fan of the philadelphia eagles now

when the dating app gives me the prompt 'how would your friends describe you?'

guy in front of me at the supermarket got carded and didn't have ID so he just said 'please i'm 28 and i'm going bald'

to the joker it's just an ordinary ride on the orient express

they just advertised a product called 'hornitos' in the middle of the football

guardian, terf 

hadley freeman is leaving the guardian so they'll be one less terf there, she admitted in a column a few weeks back that she's started losing friends because of her terfery which is hilarious, who knew being a horrible bastard would make people reassess their relationship with you theguardian.com/commentisfree/

to the joker, the wild blue yonder is just the normal blue yonder

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Skull Dot Website!

Skull dot website is an intentionally small instance for friends.