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tall boys are the closest i will ever get to a straight man

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Sorry to you hoes but my complete lack of virality has given me a healthy relationship with the internet

agh my dad just did some damage to my hair

slash :cryknife: boosted

food, miracle 


slash :cryknife: boosted

Pic of me, Selfie, EC, boosts++++ 

POV youre google-hangouts-ing me and im really cute

slash :cryknife: boosted

pics of me, mirror selfies, cute. (no EC, boosts+++, transphobe mentioned in the caption) 

i saw this transphobe saying that nonbinary people only identify that way because we are too ugly to be our assigned gender at birth. the tweet included the line "AFAB? AMAB? more like AUAB" and you know what! bless your heart bitch. im so hot.

slash :cryknife: boosted

i really really wanna get one of those brown washing machine dye pods and dye some of my old clothes

slash :cryknife: boosted
slash :cryknife: boosted

new glasses selfie EC boosts+ 

Fun fact: it’s genetically impossible for my eyes to be green, and yet

slash :cryknife: boosted

I like using Facebook, but there's no use in investing in it anymore. Frankly, your money is better invested elsewhere. I hear "open source, federated social medias" are big among the tech crowd. I think I might want to expand into this sector and bolster my investment portfolio. If you're feeling good about your assets, feel free to join me.

glasses ish selfie, ec 

what if Miranda Priestly and J. Jonah Jameson were running an editorial magazine photo spread. ad campaign maybe maybe not

slash :cryknife: boosted
slash :cryknife: boosted

The Mastodon version of wallstreetbets: I need my new glasses to come in while new glasses selfie stock is driven up by the Amelia new glasses selfie. When the Alex new glasses selfie drops it'll trigger a rapid selloff because the bull run is over. I'll be left holding this bag of worthless new glasses selfies that will never return enough favs and boosts

turns out that if i wear prescription glasses over my contacts one of my eyes tries to escape by viciously crossing

should i dig up my old warby parker frames? the prescription is only a little out of date

hi yes welcome to my personal blogggg where all i do is bitch about work

do i not know what first person is? my boss sent me a doc and asked me to convert it to first person but it already is? mmmm

work, covid 

what's one thing you're looking forward to after the pandemic is better? oh well i just want my dad and brother to get better hahah

think i successfully killed the vibe

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