I just discovered that Argentinians and Uruguayans pronounce New York as "New Shork" and I may never stop laughing

Pronouncing "microwave" so it rhymes with "Rico Suave"

A guest, upon finding out the restaurant will be closed when she arrives, actually suggested repeatedly that I make the restaurant stay open later so she and her kids can eat there. When I said we can't do that, she said, "But we're gonna be hungry!"

I just heard a guest say "nilly willy" instead of "willy nilly" and it was very upsetting to me

Elon Musk is trying to go to Mars, but I'm trying to go to Jupiter (to get more stupider)

As a child, I thought when Big Pun says, "Go downstairs, little brown hairs everywhere/(You nasty, player!) I don't care!" he was saying he had mice in his basement and did not give a fuck

🎵 I'm about to go Hamm
Jon as a motherfucker
Let these niggas know who I am

All of my Animal Crossing villagers call everyone comrade except one

animal crossing frog: "yo alex, i've been thinking about how our greeting is 'I'm froggy' and maybe we should change things up-
me: "keep saying it"
frog: "but-
me: "keep saying 'I'm froggy' :ACNH_Intense: "

My first thought any time I see someone complain about CRT is Scooby Doo saying cock and ball torture

oh no haha you misheard me; i'm an ARACHNO communist *proceeds to tie you up in my web before distributing your meat amongst my comrades*

My goal this summer is to become a himbo dedicated to the Live Mas mentality

Told someone the restaurant doesn't take reservations at this time and they replied, "okay well what time do they take reservations?"

Olive Garden: When You're Here, You're Family (When You Leave, Go Fuck Yourself)

Yankees vs Mets is subway series, UNC vs Duke is Cosmic Cantina clash

I met a bunch of people from my same fraternity last night and it was surreal

Show older
Skull Dot Website!

Skull dot website is an intentionally small instance for friends.