you turn on the tv. step brothers is on. you watch it for 5 minutes before changing the channel. step brothers is on. no matter how hard you try, every channel is the same. step brothers is on. you try going to a different channel; you try going to one you never watch, maybe cspan. step brothers is on. you try seeing if anything else is on, even a different will ferrell and/or john c reilly movie. step brothers is on. you turn on your dvd player thats sitting next to the tv, collecting dust for the last 10 years. step brothers is on.

Anchorman is the midpoint between now and Back to the Future 2

If you live in France but want to learn to rap like you're from Fayetteville, NC, you have to go to j'ecole

I need someone to make me a lit ass beat that samples a sea shanty so I can Old Town Road the sea shanties

🎵 *lou bega voice* One, two, three four five
Six seven, eight nine ten, eleven twelve
Fourteen fifteen, sixteen seven--

*emerges from Lou Bega's tomb carrying the legendary sixth Mambo*

🎵 Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
Mambo was Lou Bega's hit

Scouring TFLN and Craigslist missed connections to try to figure out if someone's posted something about you rather than simply not caring if anyone's posted anything about you because nothing matters and the world is on fire

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now that chuds have tried to blame antifa for the west coast forest fires, and then tried to blame antifa for the US capitol melee, we have a good "boy who cried wolf" foundation.

like a bunch of black bloc kids could walk into a suburban house in broad daylight and steal some boomer's television right with Tucker Carlson's dumb face on it.

and when that asshole tries to call the police like "wahh antifa just took my flat screen" the dispatcher will be like "suuuure they did, a'click!"

I saw a "Karen freaking out about masks in a store" video that I'm pretty sure starred my racist ex from summer/fall 2007

Acid reflux sounds more like a euphemism for being flung back in time by LSD than what it is, which is when you get even a little bit stressed your throat kind of feels like you're drowning

If you help rob a McDonalds, you're a Hamburglar Helper

I wouldn't say I have shortness of breath but I could stand to have taller breath

Puddle of Mudd became famous after Mudd Jeans existed and people just let that happen

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