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"Queer people don't grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we've created to protect us."
@alexand_erleon on twittah

this has been on my mind a lot. sometimes i feel like a gender imposter because it feels like ive never really known myself. doesnt help that my dad explicitly told me he still thinks this might be a phase because i have "always been very indecisive". been working through some stuff lately fam

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just laughing at being told, at 26 years old, gay married with an established career, that i am simply going through a phase

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my emo phase still isnt over. i think this nonbinary phase might last too but WHAT DO I KNOW

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@Jewbacchus the weird part is that hes been getting better and better at pronouns and stuff, so if he didnt say that, i wouldnt even know thats how he felt. so.

@swirlz Great quote. It took me so many to years to learn that big parts of my identity were constructed as a defense mechanism. To unpack your queer identity is liberating, but scary when people you've known all your life don't understand.

I send you good thoughts when others say it's "just a phase". I get that a lot when talking about my asexuality in particular. Never mind that I'm a 28yo adult.

Wish all folks were comfortable with the idea of fluidity too.

@swirlz
I don't want to minimize the horror LGBT go through, but I want to say it feels like good quote–that tries to claim a shared problem for one group.

What about Blacks who can pass for white? Self-hating children of Asian immigrants who try to be more American than anyone? Children of addicts? I've known people in all of those groups who can say the same exact things.

I'm ASD/neruodiverse, but grew up without a diagnosis as the 'weird kid' in the 1960s. Believe me, I know this place.

@swirlz Not sure I like the distinction between authentic and inauthentic here, but I get the sentiment.

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