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if the only thing that defines queer community is shared experiences of oppression when everyone is liberated queer community becomes obsolete. If the thing that defines queer community or lesbian community or trans community or all community is shared experiences of joy and life then more people are invited to the party, ya, but also then even when everyone is liberated we still get to love each other and nothing dissolves. everything is fine.

@LogicalDash i mean. in the second thing we get to bond over all shared experiences, which include the shared oppressive experiences of transphobia, homophobia, etc. but we are also centering joy.

@torie I'm thinking of asexuals here

Many don't have what you'd call queer relationships but are still oppressed in similar ways to other queer identities

They need the type of queer community that *is* defined by oppression

@torie I think we're kinda saying the same thing nvm

@LogicalDash that feels like a really reductive view of the asexual experience but idk

@torie I qualified with "many" because, sure, queerplatonic relationships exist

@torie Queer community is amazing and centring joy as well as recognising oppression is incredibly important. And it will remain important for a long time.

However if everyone is truly liberated, that has to include cishet people too. Both in terms of ending oppressive behaviour but also liberating them from the toxicity of heteronormativity, cisnormativity etc, toxic masculinity, misogyny etc.

@torie I think we are a long way from that point and it requires a lot of effort and engagement from cishet people - this isn't work that queers can do for them, although we can provide examples.

However, at that utopian point, I am not sure there would need to be a distinction between queer and cishet community.

@torie Eg As a allosexual cis woman, there are aspects of trans and ace life that I won't experience. But I can listen and support and celebrate those lives and I can back off from internal community discussions that don't involve me.

That's the model of engagement that I am talking about, not pretending that oppression disappears if we pretend it doesn't exist.

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