Pinned toot

i am tired of being told how to think. i think a dog is a kind of a bear. i think the moon is in love with me and that's why i see it everywhere i go. i think god lives in the telephone wires, and i'll shoot down any cherry pickers that come and try to cut Him out. and i reckon that's my right

Pinned toot

i am a transgender woman. my pronouns are she/her/hers. please calibrate your riffs accordingly.

also thus, my jokes are not dad jokes. they're puns, bits, gags riffs, whatever. but don't ever call me a dad

Pinned toot

i have taken the opportunity afforded me by my recent unemployment to do something I've wanted to for a long time: i have finally made a makeup instruction video!

it's nowhere near comprehensive, but i tried to make the video something for absolute beginners, so you can watch my routine as i stop and explain what i'm doing for you as i go. it's made especially for trans women like me but it's for anyone who's intimidated by makeup imo

please share!

Pinned toot

five years after mastodon ends i get a notification on discord 2. it's a pm from ponyboy_30000:

omg triz is that you? it's me, crublord69 from knzk! you totally called it, i'm trans and a brony now. anyway how's things?

i reply "haha hell yeah" and accept the friend request. i have no idea who they are. i close the chat window and yell out the screen door to my two terrible children, robitha and jeeeves, to come inside for dinner before the lava rains start. president reportoftheweek is on tv

Pinned toot

the canola story (lewd, food, gross) (thread, 1/?) 

so my friends had this guy, let's call him peter, living in the basement bedroom in their rental house in new orleans. peter had been moping around about his latest breakup, getting miserable drunk, etc. so my friends encouraged him to get out there again, make a dating profile, what have you

judging by season 19 of the show plus what we know about the divorce Kim Kardashian seems to be overcompensating her interest in Kanye's fashion and everything because the relationship is not working. So basically if my girlfriend starts talking about the watchmen tv show the writing is on the wall

what if we could use 100% of our [GIRLFRIENDS]

i really love my header. i made it myself. its so beautiful

Show thread

gonna start using the hashtag to indicate cool shit i want dirt to see, but like, eventually

Show thread

me like 90% of the time : i'll kick any of your asses. i don't give an fuck. i'm tricia and don't you forget it

me when like dirt or someone logs on: oh, haha yeah hey so um do. do you like posting or. wait fuck

Selfie ec 

Cheap hoodie score! With my lavender pants, I'm a pastel colored snack

this might be the epitome of the pnw indie shit i was into in like senior year of high school and i am so glad this album is finally on streaming

The Divorce - Yes!

if you need help if you need help if you'd like to make a call,

please hang up and try again :yell:

if you need help if you need help if you'd like to make a call,

please hang up and try again :yell:

@triz Everything from solutions to that classic holiday problem of getting stuck in a turkey, to how to act nonchalant when accidentally handcuffed to your frenemy

you know, sitcoms really do teach us a lot about life. for instance: the things that can go wrong with cakes

currently listening to "the flurry (part 1)" from the album that the portland band called tracker made as a soundtrack to the graphic novel blankets

We used to have Stephanie Grace Young, Frederick Morris Blood, and Edgar Basil Cocks. Now we have no young, no blood, and no cocks!

We used to have Johan Burgers, Marie Bourgeois, and Marcus Morris Wells. Now we have no burgers, no bourgeois, and no wells!

My daughter missed the trashcan and accidentally made a dream pop album cover

Show older
Skull Dot Website!

Skull dot website is an intentionally small instance for friends.