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(A knock on your door, you open it and I'm standing outside wearing a Napoleonic Navy officer uniform)
Me: Good day, have you heard the good word of Patrick O'Brian and his beloved The Aubrey-Maturin series and the beloved Peter Wier's major motion picture Master and Commander? I have some literature here for you...

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Wait, when you say horny on the main you mean the Spanish Main right?
(Sea Shanty joke)

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Fun fact: Michael Caine actually always acts with muppets it is just they normally edit in people for place of muppets in post

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Me: I'm such a good rich person...(I say as my Zeppelin flies over my private island and I search for my human quarry)...I mean it is just a tranquilizer gun unlike Bezos

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Sorry the hot takes are kind of cold, getting the hot take boiler upgraded so no hot takes till then

NY governor and sex worker and SA 

Not going to lie, I'm far more upset about a sex offender like Cuomo while a lot of people seemed more upset by Spritzer seeing a sex worker; which I really don't care about honestly

Cuomo 

I do not know if Cuomo can survive this blow, losing the Democratic controlled assembly like this. His power definitely is waning and I don't know if he can wait it out like some have (and appear to be doing right now (side eye the Ronny Jackson))

There use to be a pay phone next to my apartment and I actually miss it

NYC vaccination homebound 

NYC is finally starting to create a sign up for home bound seniors to get the J&J vaccine

Mastodon, or as I call it a great way to avoid doing chores

PLEASE BOOST
Who among you have played ROBLOX?

I'm curious to see among fedizens what kind of interaction there is with Roblox in general.

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Cancel culture joke 

Me: ...and that's why cancel culture is the most dangerous thing in America and I will never forgive Uncle Ben rice for changing thier image.
Wendy's cashier: uh, so do you want French Fries with your burger?
Me: THEY ARE FREEDOM FIRES!!!

NY Times inflation op-ed 

Could we eventually have an issue? Yes, of course. But the interest rates are low and can easily be raised to help still the issue and suck up excess capital. I don't see inflation tools failing but I'm far more worried that the Fed doesn't have a lot of depression/recession tools lift as we have barely almost recovered from 08 (just in general terms, I'd argue that a lot of stats miss big issues in this recovery)

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NY Times inflation op-ed 

I see the old Obama guy whining we need to cut the stimulus now because inflation control in 1980 was very bad and lead to a recession which is true but I'd point out inflation was running at 13.94% while we are currently still below 2% in a terrible economy. So, yeah, come back when we crack 2% at least and maybe I'll listen politely instead of just laughing non stop seeing as we spend 38% of that every year on the military.

California and immigration in the USA 

This is a lot like the idea everyone leaving NYC for the paradise of conservative Florida when once more it is basically holding steady in historical terms. There has been a long term movement towards the sun belt that hasn't change but is hardly new. And most of the move is elderly or less wealthy because the rich rarely fully leave (and many of the richest will move but stay literally a day short to avoid taxes)

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California and immigration in the USA 

Once more headlines may sound good and with a nice dark and ominous tone (Californians fleeing to Texas because they have lower taxes so we must cut taxes!) but often ignore actual evidence, another article on how people moving out of California was completely in line with historical numbers (the biggest change was less people moving into California)

Q conspiracy I stumbled on 

That the racist General Flynn is actually Tesla who timed traveled to save us

Texan racism politics 

So I see a Mexican restaurant said masks were still required to eat and immediately was attacked and told they were going to call ICE to arrest them all. Amazing and utterly depressing that just trying to survive a pandemic brings such hate

#MutualAid @mutualaid

Okay, I thought I wouldn't have to do this but things are really getting worse.
I'm currently helping my partner financially because he isn't earning enough money.
He's been applying to several jobs he's still waiting for an answer and fees are still going on.
His landlord said he'll have to leave the flat soon, late rents...
We're missing 500€...

Fedi, I need your help more than ever... This is not good. 😞

Anything help, thank you. ❤️

paypal.me/melissalaguel

Politics 

I completely forgot until right now that Kayne West ran for president last year

Trump RNC/NRCC/NRSC 

So trump sent a stop and desist letter to the GOP party organization (the RNC/NRCC/NRSC (party, congress and senate fundraising arms)) to stop using his name and likeness in any fund raising documents. I suspect because he wants everyone to send his super pac money and not to the GOP members. Personally I love it, suck the money out of elections and into the vortex of Trump scams

US vs UK food 

there's a place in upstate new york where their delicacy is literally called a "garbage plate", and it is so much better than anything england can offer

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