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(A knock on your door, you open it and I'm standing outside wearing a Napoleonic Navy officer uniform)
Me: Good day, have you heard the good word of Patrick O'Brian and his beloved The Aubrey-Maturin series and the beloved Peter Wier's major motion picture Master and Commander? I have some literature here for you...

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Wait, when you say horny on the main you mean the Spanish Main right?
(Sea Shanty joke)

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Fun fact: Michael Caine actually always acts with muppets it is just they normally edit in people for place of muppets in post

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Me: I'm such a good rich person...(I say as my Zeppelin flies over my private island and I search for my human quarry)...I mean it is just a tranquilizer gun unlike Bezos

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Sorry the hot takes are kind of cold, getting the hot take boiler upgraded so no hot takes till then

Cuomo SA 

Second person came forward and I suspect the dam is breaking

today's patently bad idea is to learn to play 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel

Michigan politics coronavirus 

Apparently the GOP is hoping to manufacture a Cuomo like scandal on the Democratic governor. I have no idea if there is cause but knowing the Michigan GOP, who were cool with any coup they saw, I'm not optimistic they will adhere to "facts and evidence". I'm sure the media will fall for it because they always do

Ravnsborg is a scumbag and I hope he goes down hard but damn if he's not a textbook example of why you should never talk to the cops. They fucking completely rolled him in their interview.

The Stele of Axum in Ethiopia. Probably made in the 4th century by the people of the Kingdom of Aksum. Many similar stele were built, but knocked over in earthquakes or wars. The stele was found in a toppled state by Italian fascists, who took it to Rome where it was displayed for years before being sent back to Ethiopia in 2005.

Politics war power USA 

I hope they do this, the abdication of Congress war powers for since 2001 has been a terrible. Doesn't matter if it was Democratic or GOP, both parties have failed for two decades

Hello, I am philly and I have never made a decision I didn't agonize and change my mind on 1000 times

An open letter to the helicopter flying above me for the last 15 minutes 

Fuck you

Personal 

Not in the best mood, work shit, or more precisely no work shit

Phones are made for texting with my friends and getting mad on the internet, NOT for making or receiving calls

CPAC 

Fine, I'm enjoying the video of the organizers trying to appeal to the radical right to wear a mask because private property rights when most of their attendants don't give two shits about property rights unless it is being used to oppress PoC or other people they hatre

College debt forgivens my personal take USA politics 

We can always reclaim money going to the wealthiest when taxes are done next year. Back end it is a much better result in my book, especially to help those who don't file taxes who are often left out of tax rebate stuff

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College debt forgivens my personal take USA politics 

Print money, print money for almost anything that actually helps people and not companies. Just print print and print away

I see Costco is increasing their minimum wage to $16 dollars (half of the workers are making $25) because they find workers who can actually survive on their hard earned salary are more loyal and do better work then starving your work force and making them work 3 jobs just to live

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